Entry 3: My Life...

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim...

Assalamualaykum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh...


"Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday."
~Don Marquis~

There the saying goes.. Hehehe.. I have been procrastinating in doing this.. But, it's okay because this is not the matter of life or death.. Takde le pulak sape-sape yang terbunuh atau cedera parah sebab tak dapat update baru dalam blog ni, kan?! So, I forgive myself for that.. (hahaha! ade ke camni ek..)

These few weeks has been a busy hectic working @ course period.. Every week, ade je meeting @ courses to attend.. thus, explained the delay of this update..

Anyway, just would like to update regarding my fren in "Entry 2: Her Story".. alhamdulillah, she will be transferred soon, near to her husband.. hope that can improve their relationship..

Hmmm.. past 1-2 weeks, I received good news of those around me... what else... they are pregnant.. Kind of hurt. Yes, I am happy with the news.. but it's really hard to smile and celebrate the joy, whereas deep inside I am badly hurt.. once or twice, I think I could still hold it.. but then, the subsequent news were too hard for me to stop my tears from rolling down.. Bukan saye tak bersyukur, bukan saye tak bersabar.. saye tahu, Allah dah tetapkan rezeki masing-masing.. tapi, salah ke untuk saye berasa sedih?? but don't worry, usually the teary part would only be temporary.. nangis kejap je.. cuma, luka dalam hati tu macam susah sket nak handle.. I think I became more fragile.. I woke up in the morning feeling alone.. I hate that.. Urgh.. I have to keep myself occupied with works and etc etc etc... But back home, the feeling creeping in.. I need my other half, but he's not there... I can't tell what I want to tell there and then.. I need to wait, and later I forget about it.. But no, it doesn't go away just like that.. It accumulated in my sub-conscious mind and disturbed my sleep... Once, I woke up in the morning and realized that my pillow was wet with tears.. I didn't even remember crying in my sleep!

I know what I need... But unfortunately....


p/s : Earlier, I wished to share my "rempit" moment... but I think, it's better for me to stop now.. maybe next time.. maybe...