New Title... Auntie??

Tido ternganga.. macam Papa dia.. hahahha

asyik tido je budak Danial nih.. tanak bukak mata langsung..

Tengok tu.. tido lagi.. hehhee..

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim...

Assalamualaykum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh..

Life has been great for me lately.. :).. Alhamdulillah... Few good things happened and I feel grateful for being able to enjoy blessful life so far..

- New family member -
My brother just got a baby boy on 16th October.. This budak was born at about 10.10pm.. I would say that my sis-in-law has gone through quite an easy process of delivery.. Masuk labour room at about 7pm, time tuh cervix opened 5 cm.. then 3 hours later, budak nih kuar.. hahahha.. being 2.93 kg, memang tak susah mane la nak kuar, unlike some mothers who had to struggle for this critical process.. Alhamdulillah.. Danial Harith Bin Hazim, your presence has been the greatest moment for all of us..
So, panggilan baru dalam family..
- Abah = Tok Abah
- Ummi = Tok Ummi (macam tua sangat le pulak..)
- Saye yg best nih = Cik Ina..
hahahah... tak sabar nak tunggu budak nih besar..

- Patient oh Patient -
Sorang makcik datang ke hospital mase saye on-call.. pukul 3am, nurse panggil and bagitahu makcik nih baru masuk.. so saye kena pergi interview and buat pape yang patut before dia masuk ward..
She has history of long-standing diabetes mellitus, on Insulin injection (showing that her illness could not longer be controlled by taking pills).. She complained of right foot pain and having pus discharge from a wound in between her big toe and second toe.. she said, it was just about a week ago.. means, tak le lama mane.. but looking at her foot condition, I didn't think so it's a one week event.. very bad condition, okay.. nanah keluar even kalo saye picit sket je.. swollen foot with redness and warm skin, showing that she has a severe infection on that foot.. and to my surprise, ade lagi satu luka kat tapak kaki dia, bahagian belakang.. guess what I found there?? MAGGOTS @ ULAT (yang macam ulat buah tu).. I was so shocked.. bukan sebab geli.. tapi terkejut sebab makcik tu pon tahu ade maggot kat situ!! dia biar je.. katenye " dah buang siket smalam, tapi ade lagi le Doktor.. so makcik biar je la.." Adeh.. sakit dada saye.. ni kena buat ECG ni, takut2 kena heart attack pulak saye..
Saye tak puas hati, so saye korek cerita lagi.. rupe-rupenye luka tu dah lama.. 3 minggu punye luka, start kuar nanah 2 minggu lepas.. pi cuci kat klinik biasa, tak sembuh jugak.. pastu husband dah malas nak hantar pi klinik, so makcik nih just amik ubat cuci and buat sendiri kat rumah.. condition of the wound getting worst, then makcik nih mintak ngan husband supaya hantar pi hospital.. husband tak nak.. sebab katenye, kalo pi hospital, nanti kena potong kaki (sebab sedara dia ade yg kena potong kaki kerana kencing manis)... dah lepas jadi makin teruk sampai makcik ni tak tahan dah tengok maggots tuh kuar, makcik ni mintak ngan jiran dia hantar ke hospital.. so she ended up in my ward..
Patut tak saye marah?? memang saye dah marah pon.. tapi more of marah pada husband dia.. tanggungjawab suami untuk jaga isteri.. kalo tanak hantar isteri ke hospital semata-mata kerana takut kaki isteri kena potong, bertanggungjawab ke tu? lebih rela isteri sakit and menderita kat rumah, daripada hantar ke hospital?? Urgh.. saye tak paham lelaki yang macam ni..
Saye marah jugak kat makcik tu, sebab tak bertegas.. dia kate, dia takut derhaka pada suami.. Isk.. tak paham saye.. mungkin kena tukar siket syllabus dalam Kursus Pra-perkahwinan supaya jelaskan pada bakal2 isteri, dalam keadaan ape yang seorang isteri boleh menidakkan arahan @ kata2 suami..
But all in all, makcik tuh selamat le.. tak perlu potong kaki pun, just operate siket je untuk buang tisu2 mati + nanah + maggots tuh.. And, saye tak pernah nampak pon suami dia datang melawat.. Hmmm...

So, pengajaran dari 2 cerita di atas..
- I am getting older.. dah jadi Auntie pun.. Erk...
- Love yourself first, before loving others.. And to all husbands, jgn salah guna kuasa ye.. Suami sepatutnye melindungi dan menjaga isteri, bukan memudaratkan lagi..

Till then, thanks for reading this, people..

p/s : Ummi n Abah saye excited jadi grandpa n grandma.. Ummi jahit bengkung bunga2 lagi untuk Danial!! hehehe.. sedondon dengan bengkung Mama dia.. Comel!

The Faces...

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim...
Assalamualaykum warahmatullah...

Lama sungguh tak update.. padahal everyday pon online, except mase hari on-call le.. hehehe.. saje je.. biar tertunggu-tunggu... cewah!

I don't wish to talk about my Raya.. but definitely, my day was filled with joy, just by looking at my cute cousins' faces...

And I'm waiting my first nephew to come out from his Mommy's tummy.. next week? next next week? hermm... it's approaching 38 weeks, anyway...

Dear Allah, I pray for his safety, and Kak Sue's well-being... bless both of them and all of us, My Lord...

Finishing Ramadhan...

Assalamualaykum warahmatullah...

Dah masuk hujung Ramadhan.. Alhamdulillah, saye pon dah boleh sesuaikan diri dgn hidup kat Kuantan.. frankly, hidup sorang2 kat tempat yang jauh dari family nih memang mencabar.. especially bile jatuh sakit... huhuhuh! tapi itu le... masih ade yang sayang.. :)

Saye dalam posting Orthopaedics a.k.a bahagian Tulang and Patah-Riuk.. hehhe.. so far so good.. my first impression, takut le sebab dari HUKM yang penuh dgn facilities tetiba kena tukar ke hospital KKM yang tak tahu camane keadaannya.. but alhamdulillah, I managed to suit myself in the system quite fast.. maybe partly sebab ramai sgt houseman dalam department.. just imagine, Ortho saje ade almost 25 HOs.. huhu... and next Monday, 29th September, would be my first on-call day..

Ramadhan dah habis.. alhamdulillah, few good things happened.. saye bahagia.. :)

Selamat menghabiskan baki Ramadhan.. semoga berjumpa lagi dengan Ramadhan akan datang, dengan lebih bermakna..

p/s: boleh tak, tanak dah puasa sorang2..?? saye nak puasa and berbuka dgn seseorang...

Kuantan, Here I Come..

Assalamualaykum...

Alhamdulillah, I arrived Kuantan safely.. Dalam proses nak cari rumah sewa tuh, macam2 jadik.. mendebarkan, menyedihkan, menyeronokkan.. But all in all, Allah eased my life so far.. Nih nak citer siket..

Friday, 29/08/2008
Bertolak dari KL pukul 11am, after amik my sis, Bib, kat UIA PJ. target nak sampai Kuantan after solat Jumaat, so that dapat pi daftar kat Jabatan Kesihatan Negeri Pahang and tahu kat hospital mane ditempatkan..
Sampai dalam 3pm, check in hotel and then terus ke Jabatan Kesihatan.. Alhamdulillah, dapat pilih HTAA (Kuantan) instead of Temerloh.. pegawai in-charge kate, just daftar kt HTAA on Tuesday because it was already 5pm.. called my mum's fren regarding rumah sewa.. alamak!! tenant sekarang nak keluar rumah 15 haribulan nanti.. means I have to wait another 2 weeks.. sementara tuh, nak duduk mane ek? dah down sangat2.. sedih dan cuak.. but Uncle tu promise nak tolong carikan petang tu jugak..
6pm, jumpa la satu rumah kosong kat Indera Mahkota, belakang Tunas Manja IM.. tempat tu agak familiar, facilities banyak.. call tuan rumah untuk runding. rumah teres 2 tingkat, sewa RM400 sebulan.. condition rumah : errr... sekali pandang macam tak berapa best, tapi at this moment, takleh memilih sgt sebab terdesak.. takpelah, tuan rumah kate boleh datang Ahad pagi untuk tgk dalam rumah sebab dia kat Jengka.. hmm.. lega sket.. Then, pegi pasar malam kat IM (isk.. nostalgia betul sbb pasar malam nih slalu pergi mase study dulu)to buy something to eat for dinner.. then balik hotel.. exhausted but still anxious.. tak sedar terlelap awal, but terbangun balik pukul 2.30am.. still anxious nak duduk kat rumah tu sorang2.. urghh.. ntah bile ntah tertido balik..

Saturday, 30/08/2008
Woke up early morning.. eh.. nice view from my hotel room. menghadap ke sungai besar tuh.. nampak banyak bot2 baru balik dari laut kot.. very refreshing...
After breakfast, another fren of my mum called.. she found a new house for rent around Bukit Setongkol area.. according to her, the house is nearer to the hospital.. Hmm.. after Zuhur, kuar makan kt Giant and did some shopping, then went to my dad's fren's house around Sungai Isap.. wah! macam jejak kasih le plak.. this Uncle is a long-lost friend.. last time jumpa mase Abah Form 3, then tukar skolah and lost contact.. after having a yummy roti jala at his house, we headed towards Bukit Setongkol to have a look at the house.. my mum's fren was waiting at the house..
Tuan rumah adalah pasangan suami isteri, kedua2nye bekas guru.. dah almost 2 years pindah ke Temerloh.. rumah ni tempat persinggahan je.. kadang2 anak diorg datang tapi eversince anak dia pindah KL, the house is not occupied for almost 1 year.. Pakcik n Makcik datang sebulan skali untuk bersihkan halaman, bayar bil eletrik and air and Astro.. Halaman luas, siap ade 3 batang pokok rambutan yang tgh berbuah lebat.. pokok buah delima, pokok bunga, pokok kelapa gading.. WOW! rumah ni betul2 berdepan dgn surau (according to the Makcik, surau nih mmg aktif ngan aktiviti), sebelah tu ade gerai makan.. hehehe! Dekat sgt dgn supermarket and other facilities.. Rumah setingkat kt corner lot, tapi dah renovate menjadi sgt luas.. Sewa : RM500 per month.. fully furnished (yes! fully and siap ade aircond kat bilik tidur, as well as ASTRO).. very secure and privacy.. jiran2 baik, sye dah berkenalan dgn sorang makcik blakang rumah yang juga staff kepada kawan Ummi.. dia kate dia akn tengok2kan saye.. best! nak ke hospital just amik masa 5-10 mins, sbb ade short-cut.
Oleh itu, Ummi saye sgt lega dan saye pon setuju untuk menyewa... hilang anxious saye.. syukur sgt2 pada Allah sbb permudahkan urusan saye... Alhamdulillah.. Ummi pon bagitahu, kalau saye amik rumah yang first tuuh, Ummi rase agak keberatan and tak sedap hati.. kawasan tu agak terpencil... tapi rumah yg kedua nih, sgt sesuai and berbaloi.. maka, esok saye akan masuk rumah baru!! hehehe..

So, itu le al-kisahnye.. Insya-Allah, azam baru utk bekerja lebih kuat (erk.. nanti ade org tak senang duduk nih).. nak perbaiki diri supaya lebih berdikari dan tabah.. Sempena Ramadhan ni, harap2 saye dapat melakukan ibadat semaksima mungkin.. herm.. takpelah berpuasa sorang2 pon.. Allah kan ade.. :)

Doakan saye ye kawan2...

Salam Perjuangan : Revisited..

Assalamualaykum and Bismillahirrahmanirrahim

I couldn't sleep... has been like this for the past 4-5 days.. Possibly due to the pre-working syndrome... Oh my... I have been jobless since 18th July!!!

Anyway, I reviewed the previous postings in my Journey Of Life.. and this one really suitable for me right now.. huhuhu..

TIDURLAH SEBENTAR WAHAI PEJUANG UMMAH......

Hendak tidur, tidurlah mata,
Moga hilang nanti lelap di dada,
Hendak lena, lenalah jiwa,
Moga esokkan kembali ceria....

Lama aku berjuang,
Ku menempuh duri dan gelombang,
Lama ku berpanas hujan,
Ingin ku regup setitik kedamaian....

Moga dapat ku rehat seketika,
Membasuh lukanya dosa dan noda,
Doakan aku teman semua,
Bangkit ku nanti berjuang semula....

Nanti akan ku impikan,
Bersama kita berganding tangan,
Nanti akan ku impikan,
Bendera Islam sama dikibarkan....

Aku kini lemah tak berdaya,
Tak mampu rasa mengimbang perasaan,
Kerdilnya diri di sisi Tuhan,
Terasa malu menatap alam....

Tidurlah....tidur biar lena,
Bersama dodoian kasih ini,
Nanti bila terjaga,
Dapat kau bangkit berjuang semula...

Tidurlah....tidur biar lena,
Bersama alunan cinta dihati,
Nanti bila terjaga,
Dapat berbakti pada agama....

-'salam perjuangan'-

p/s: saye merasakan diri saye berubah.. adakah lebih kepada yang baik? atau makin merosot? yang pasti, saye rindukan secebis kehidupan dulu...

Zawjati - My Wife..

Assalamualaykum..

Nak share satu video clip yang saye suka.. :) The wordings are soooo sweeettt... Saye sarankan pada suami2, boleh le tujukan nasyeed nih pada zaujah masing2.. sure akan terharu punye lah! hantar kat email ke, tujukan kat blog ke.. hehehe.. ape salahnye beromantik skali-skala.. bukan pada orang lain pon kan..
So, hayati le translated lyrics kat bawah clip ni ye..



TRANSLATION - Zawjati (My wife) ( Ahmed Bukhatir)

I love you the way you are,
I love you the way you were,
No matter what did or will happen,
You are and will be my darling.

You're my rightful wife, I care not about
Those who like to reproach and irritate me.
It is our destiny to be
Together eternally.

In my heart you instilled love
With grace and good deeds.
Happiness vanishes when you disappear,
Life brightens when you're there.

Hard is my day
Until you return home.
Sadness disappears
When you smile.

Life turns black
When you're upset,
So I work hard
To make your wish come true.

You're my happiness.
May you be happy forever.
Our souls are united
Like soil and plants.

You're my hope, my peace
My good company and inspiration.
Life is good, no matter how hard it is,
When you're fine.


p/s : kalo "suami" saye yang hadiahkan untuk saye, sure saye nangis.. lagi terharu kalo dia sendiri yang nyanyi.. heheh.. berangan!

Counting Days..

My brother, Hazim took this photo.. nice ek?!

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim...
Assalamualaykum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh..

Yes, I am counting days to start my new life in Pahang.
And yes, I'm choosing Kuantan / HTAA as the place is more familiar to me compared to the other one.
And insya-Allah, I'll be starting my Ramadhan in a new place with new vision and mission.
May Allah guide me to His blessings...

I'm reading Khaled Hosseini's latest novel, "A Thousand Splendid Suns"..Alternate with "La Tahzan" when I feel bored.. huhuhu..
This is not flight of idea, people..
But I just need some tazkirah when I feel down..
And just to happen that "La Tahzan" is the best tazkirah..

" Jangan berdukacita sebab anda masih mempunyai doa,
Anda boleh bersimpuh di depan pintu-pintu Tuhan Yang Maha Kuasa,
Dan anda dapat beroleh ketenangan di depan pintu-pintu Raja,
Anda juga masih mempunyai waktu sepertiga akhir malam,
Dan masih mempunyai waktu merapatkan dahi ke tanah untuk b'sujud..."



p/s: kesimpulannya, setiap perkara mendukacitakan itu, pasti ada pengubatnya..
urgh.. why am I mixing English and Malay? adeh.. penin otak..

Sepi

I watched this movie, SEPI, with Aqien.. and I personally like the flow of the movie..
The most touching part is, when the boy who just lost his mother in a car accident being abandoned by his own father.. Sedihnye...
Enjoy the song, pal.. kalo betul2 hayati lirik dia, boleh nangis woo.. sebab macam tahu-tahu je ape yang ada dalam hati.. isk...

Sepi (by Yuni Shara/ Melly Goeslow)

Sepi hati terjadi lagi
Mungkin sampai mati aku sepi
Biar senyum hadir di hariku
Namun ini hanya ada di bibir
Di bibir saja...

Aku ini yang bisa mengerti
Walaupun yang lain mau mengerti
Namun berat beban hidupku
Biarkan saja, biar saja hanya ku yang tahu

Sejarah cinta dan hidupku
Penuh duri dan banyak ranjau
Butuh kesabaran yang penuh untuk tetap ku berdiri
Oh.. ada saatnya ku bicara
Bila hatiku telah bulat
Sepanjang ku bisa atasi semua
Aku tetap diam...

Sejarah cinta dan hidupku
Penuh duri dan banyak ranjau
Butuh kesabaran yang penuh untuk tetap ku berdiri
Oh.. ada saatnya ku bicara
Bila hatiku telah bulat
Sepanjang ku bisa atasi semua
Aku tetap diam...

Sabah Trip

Assalamualaykum..

Huhuhu.. nih memang bertapa tahap gaban nih.. tak update lama dah.. Just a quick recap, I've ended my housemanship in HUKM on 17th July 2008. That was the last day I worked as HO in Vascular Team, Surgery Department of HUKM.. and I had a good days in Surgery posting actually.. I enjoyed the posting very much..

And then, apa lagi.. CUTI-CUTI SABAH le.. a 5-days trip of single IIUM-grad docs, comprises of me myself, Asma', Aqien, Hasanah, Ita and Najah.. banyak jalan2 and shopping jek.. We went to Tip of Borneo (Aqien kena 'auta' dgn saye on how the founder of this place confirmed whether tempat tuh le tip of Borneo.. hahaha!) Then, to Kundasang, tempat yang sejuk mcm Cameron Highland.. (steamboat kat the Kinabalu Pine Resort memang superb!).. the next day, shopping and shopping.. Luckily, saye nih kan jenis yang kedekut dgn diri sendiri so, tak banyak le yg habis.. And penutup, pi snorkelling tengok pasir and kaki sendiri kat Pulau Mamutik and Pulau Manukan (erk..not as what i expected.. kena pi Tioman jugak nih!)
But actually, the best part were gathering with old friends and just spend the whole day without have to think about our patients (altho kalo berborak2, sure cakap pasal keja and patients.. duh!).. Thanks to Shade & her housemates, and also Rena for the time..

Well, tengok le gambar2 yang tak seberapa nih.. hehehe.. banyak lagi gambar kat Friendster ye..







p/s : enjoy puas2 sebelum kena kerja and suit myself dgn tempat baru... huhuhu... HELP ME!!!

Jangan Bersedih...

Untuk diriku dan dirimu...

"Jangan berdukacita, sebab kesedihan hanya akan membuat air yang segar terasa pahit, dan sekuntum bunga mawar yang cantik nampak seperti sebuah labu,
Taman yang rimbun nampak seperti padang pasir yang gersang, dan hidup dunia menjadi penjara yang pengap...

Jangan berdukacita sebab anda masih mempunyai dua mata, dua telinga, dua bibir, dua tangan dan dua kaki, lidah dan hati. Anda masih mempunyai kedamaian, keamanan dan kesihatan...

Jangan berdukacita sebab anda masih mempunyai agama yang anda yakini, rumah yang anda diami, nasi yang anda makan, air yang anda minum, pakaian yang anda pakai dan teman tempat anda berkongsi perasaan. Mengapa mesti bersedih hati?"

- La Tahzan, Dr. 'Aidh Abdullah Al-Qarni -

Yakinlah, Allah Yang Maha Mengetahui apa yang terbaik untuk kita... bukan orang lain, malah bukan juga kita... Kerana itulah, jangan pernah berputus harap pada Dia, kerana Dia Maha Mendengar keluhan kita... mungkin kita rase tak adil, kenapa perkara buruk sering berlaku pada kita.. namun percayalah, itu hanya salah satu cara Dia menguji keimanan dan kecintaan kita..

Sabarlah hati...

Tabahlah diri...

Kuatlah jiwa...

Kerana ganjaran menanti di sana...

A Story and A Lesson..

Assalamualaykum...

Herm.. dah lama tak update blog.. sampaikan ade yang bertanya.. "Hanin merajuk ke, sampaikan tanak update blog langsung?" , "busy sgt ke kerja, blog pon dah bersawang?" , "dah lama tak update blog awak, rindu ngan tulisan awak.." Huhuhu...

Bukan merajuk, bukan busy.. cuma memang kurang idea sket nak update.. Tapi bile idea mencurah, memang kena buat there and then.. Kalo tak, tahun depan pon tak buat..

Dan kerana kenyataan yang ketiga itu lah, saye update blog kali ni.. :)

Banyak perkara yang terjadi, tapi kebanyakannya berkisar tentang kerja dan kisah pesakit saye.. Let me share with all readers tentang seorang pesakit saye, back in O&G dulu.. I wonder if she still strong up to today..

Dia seorang guru.. bukan calang2 guru kerana telah dipilih untuk mengikuti kursus menjadi pengetua.. berumur 38 tahun, dia seorang yang aktif di sekolah dan peringkat kementerian kerana penyertaan dalam sukan bola jaring di kalangan pelajar2 dan juga guru2.. early this year, she started to feel uneasy.. lethargy, sleepy and abdomen started to become bloated... berat badan semakin susut and selera makan makin berkurangan.. dia pergi ke klinik untuk mendapat rawatan...

Sesuatu berlaku... dia dirujuk ke HUKM.. dan dalam bulan April, dia dikejutkan dgn berita yang dirasakan seperti batu menghempap atas kepala.. dia menghidap Kanser Ovari (kilang telur) tahap yang ke-3.. denial.. that was what she experienced in the early part of the news-breaking.. she went to other hospital for second opinion, still the same diagnosis.. 3 months she didn't go to hospital and mourning at home.. dia bertukar menjadi seorang yg pendiam, pemarah dan tidak lagi ceria.. until something happened to his nephew, passed away because of testicular cancer..

She prayed a lot.. Leaving all the decision to Allah the Al-Mighty.. and later she realized that she needs to seek treatment because there is always a cure for every disease.. dengan harapan dan azam baru, dia datang semula ke HUKM dan mula mendapatkan rawatan.. pembedahan berjaya, dan diteruskan dengan 6 cycles of chemotherapy yang mane setiap cycle memerlukan ubat berharga hampir mencecah RM 2 ribu..

Dan hari itu, dia bercerita dengan saye.. bagaimana hidupnya penuh dengan dugaan.. bercinta dengan orang lain, dan kerana halangan dari pihak lelaki, terpaksa melupakan majlis pertunangan yang telah hampir sempurna persiapannya gara-gara perkara kecil.. berkahwin dengan pilihan keluarga, rupa-rupanya suaminya itu pendera orangnya.. wang gaji dipegang dan dibelanjakan oleh suami sesuka hati.. bila lewat sediakan makanan, dia dipukul.. bile cuba menasihati, dia dicaci dan dihina.. atas kekuatan diri yang dibina setelah dugaan hidup yang dia hadapi, dia memohon cerai dan alhamdulillah, berhasil.. luckily, mereka tak dikurniakan anak lagi.. kalau tidak, nak berebut hak penjagaan pulak nanti..

Kemudian, dia bertemu jodoh dengan rakan sekerja.. alhamdulillah, baik dan bertanggungjawab.. baru 3 tahun berkahwin, dia dikejutkan dengan berita perit ini.. mereka tidak dikurniakan anak.. bahkan, tidak akan mempunyai anak hasil perkongsian hidup mereka kerana pesakit saye ini telah pon dibedah dan dibuang organ-organ peranakan.. walaupun ini yang terjadi, si suami tetap di sisi.. tidak mahu beralih arah kerana kukuhnya kasih sayang.. dan saye bertemu dgn suaminya petang itu.. tenang dan sentiasa tersenyum, dengan hikmah menasihati saye supaya berpegang dengan apa yang saye rasekan betul.. tak perlu takut atau gentar dengan ujian yang sedikit kerana kebahagiaan akan datang selepas diri sendiri berjuang mempertahankan apa yang dirasakan hak milik kita.. dia berpesan, kalau kite rasakan ape yang berlaku pada kite itu berat dan besar, bayangkan kesengsaraan dan kesusahan yang orang lain hadapi.. lebih perit dan mencabar..

Dan petang itu, saye berasa lebih bersemangat.. YA, saye ade hak untuk menentukan masa depan saye.. selagi tindakan saye ini bukan menentang suruhan Allah, selagi itu saye akan berusaha.. Allah sendiri mengatakan "tidak akan berubah nasib sesuatu kaum, kalau kaum itu tidak mengubahnya sendiri"..

Kadang2, ade beberapa ketika yang saye terasa seperti nak give-up.. tak kisah la, sama ada dalam kerja atau personal life.. Terlalu banyak yang terjadi, tapi saye yakin, semuanya untuk menjadikan diri saye lebih tabah..

Dan sampai ke hari ini, saye masih mampu tersenyum kerana dalam hati saye terselit satu kata semangat..

" Kalau aku rasa apa yang jadi pada aku nih teruk, masih ramai lagi kat luar sana yang mengalami pengalamn yang jauh lebih teruk daripada apa yang aku alami.."


p/s: hanya yang faham akan faham apa yang disampaikan..
anyway, MO saye kat Urology tu.. still reading my blog ka?? hehehe.. dah update le nih..

When If Meets Must

If we can fight together, we must strive together..
If we can play together, we must pray together..
If we can plan together, we must stand together..
If we can cry together, we must try together..
We must strive together, if we can fight together..
We must pray together, if we can play together..
We must stand together, if we can plan together..
We must try together, if we can cry together..
The future of man is built on a plan..
Of working together whenever we can..
So "if" must stand so tall..
And "must" alone, cannot fall..
For together, forever we bring..
The best, the good of it all..

- James Weldon Lane -

p/s: This poem dedicated to all my bestfriend, bestes friends, and all those who supported me throughout my Journey Of Life...

I'm Finishing...

Assalamualaykum wbt...

I'm finishing my housemanship in HUKM.. huhuhu.. And I've already got the next placement for Paediatrics and Orthopaedics postings.. Well, people... I'm going to PAHANG!!! hehehehe.. Either Kuantan Hospital or Temerloh Hospital, would only be known after I register in Jabatan Kesihatan Negeri Pahang in mid August... At least, I've got about 3 weeks holiday..

Initially, I felt a little bit reluctant to go there.. Dah biasa kerja kat HUKM and dah familiar dengan all the places, environment and work schedule here, surely it would be different from KKM hospitals. At first, ingat nak merayu mintak tukar ke area KL / Putrajaya / Selangor.. Tapi rasenye macam susah nak dapat je.. because I dun have the valid reasons for not going to Pahang.. Dah la single, bukan ade planning nak kawen dalam mase terdekat nih.. Hmmm..

After doing some discussion with few friends and seniors, I decided to go first.. ape salahnya cuba dulu kan?! just to complete my major rotations.. then, insya-Allah nak apply jadi trainee lecturer kat any medical schools.. Currently, macam berminat nak buat Family Medicine .. Second choice, Radiology.. Third, Pathology ie. Forensic Pathology.. huhuhu... Tengah usha-usha UIA, USIM and UiTM..

Tak tahu le kenapa, tapi memang minat nak jadi lecturer.. I wouldn't mind taking any field (except Medicine and Paeds.. hehehe.. tak minat) asalkan boleh jadi lecturer.. minat mengajar.. specifically MENDIDIK... sebab saye nak sebarkan ilmu seciput kuman yang saye ade nih untuk dikongsi dgn orang lain dan diambil manfaat.. sebab, guru2 dan pensyarah2 saye semuanya telah memberikan pelajaran dan didikan yang sangat berguna untuk saye menjalani hidup.. So, it's time for me to share.. bak kata Ustaz Hasrizal, "ERTI HIDUP PADA MEMBERI".... anyway, saye dah dapat buku "Aku Terima Nikahnya"... siap dengan sign Ustaz lagi... huhuhu.. thanks to Kak Muna, isteri Ustaz Hasrizal yang susah-susah je dapatkan untuk saye.. Bestnye!!!

Oleh itu, dengan rela hati and tawadhu', saye akan mendaftar ke Pahang mid August nanti.. Doakan yang terbaik untuk saye ye.. mungkin ape yang saye nak tuh bukan yang terbaik untuk saye.. sebab tu saye harap, mereka-mereka yang sayangkan saye tolong doakan yang terbaik untuk saye..

Okay, enough of that.. From 24th to 28th July, insya-Allah saye dan 3 lagi sahabat akan ber'CUTI_CUTI MALAYSIA' ke Sabah.. so, Shade.. tunggu serangan kitorang ek.. Tak sabarnye!!!

Erm.. dapat pujian dari my specialists.. :)
Ms. D*n* : houseman baru, u belajar dari Hanin ye... She's quite a reliable and dedicated HO..
Mr. Sh*hr*n (while talking among them about HO. diorang tak sedar saye ade kat belakang) : Herm.. tengok la sape lecturer dia. Aku jugak.. She's better than some UKM grad. (referring to one of UKM-grad HO).
Prof N*q*y** : Eh, Hanin.. u keluar dari team je, habis HO team nih jadi kelam-kabut.. tak boleh ke kalo u stay je dalam team ni??

Hehehe.. Alhamdulillah... Praise to Allah.. I work hard and give my full commitment, because I know Allah loves those who carry out the responsibility to the best effort..

Alhamdulillah...
Alhamdulillah...

Take care, all..

p/s : nampaknye, before ke Pahang nanti, saye kena beli laptop and broadband for internet connection.. sape nak teman????

Wedding Season..

Assalamualaykum..

It's school holiday, and it's wedding season again.. I've received 6 invitations for these 2 weekends. Attended one on Friday night, one on Saturday.. one was turned down (kat JB) and another 3 coming up next week..

Common question asked, "Awak bile lagi?".. hehehe.. Simple question but it's hard to answer.. Let me keep it to myself je lah.. hehehe..

Anyway, congrats to these friends of mine for their wedding.. May Allah bless your new life and may all of you find the happiness. May your ibadah become more meaningful after the tie knot..

1. Sonie and Farid
2. Aainaa and Amir
3. Yan Babeh and Pok Min
4. Aziah and hubby
5. Asmat and Rahman
6. Kak Nadia and hubby

Happy jumpa Shade and others kat wedding Aainaa..
The end for now..

p/s: Entry ini adalh kerana telah ditegur oleh Cik Asma' kite.. hehehe... serious la, takde idea..
kepada yang berkenaan, hidup elok-elok.. matahari masih bersinar, so awak kena bersinar jugak.. :)

Surgery Oh Surgery...

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim...

Assalamualaykum wbt..

Saye dah masuk posting baru, which means my last posting in HUKM.. started Surgery posting on 1st April.. as usual, first day of work memang tak tahu nak expect ape.. I was put in Breast and Endocrine Team.. and guess who is my boss..??? My lecturer back in IIUM Kuantan, MR. SHAHRUN!!! but in a way, it's a good motivation for me.. saye tanak le memalukan lecturer sendiri kan.. alhamdulillah, my former IIUM mate pon same team ngan saye so ade le orang yg dikenali..

People said, Surgery is a relax posting.. they even have the chance to eat TDS (three times per day) which exclude dinner.. herm.. sure ah that relax?? my opinion is, it depends on how you work laa.. kalo buat kerja lambat, sure la lambat nak makan.. kalo kerja cepat siap, takde kerja la pulak nanti.. boring le pulak.. herm... anyway, it's too early for me to judge this.. tengok le, after 1 month, I'll tell u what my opinion on Surgery..

Today, I went to book fair in PWTC with Aqien... Kelabu mata!!! semua buku kalo boleh nak beli.. ooohhh... how I love being surrounded by books (non-academic la!).. and with careful selections, I bought 4 books :

1. Surat Ungu Untuk Nuha (by Noor Suraya)
- somebody recommends this book for me and I trust her.. she has a similar taste with me in selecting reading materials..

2 & 3. Kekasih Sam Po Bo and Surat-surat Perempuan Johor (by Faisal Tehrani)
- actually, takde la nak beli sangat tapi bile nampak Faisal Tehrani was there, I think why hesitate.. hehehe.. anyway, I like his writing.. highly recommend buku "Tunggu Teduh Dulu" to all of u.. saye dapat signature Faisal Tehrani on my books!! hehehe...

4. Sulaman Manik (by sape ntah)
- actually this is for my Ummi.. she has a new hobby : menjahit manik.. so I bought this book, which shows a lot of technique and designs on beading.. in the end, Ummi will jahit manik for me jugak.. hehe.. win-win situation..

Basically, I enjoy my visit to this book fair.. Yes, I am a book-worm.. so what.. hehehe.. ade few books yang saye usha nak beli, tapi rase macam tanak le overspend.. lagipon, I've to pay the down-payment for my new house.. kopak le pulak nanti..

Okaylah, ini je kot.. bile saye dah habis baca all the books, I'll tell u all the synopsis and my opinion regarding the books ye..

Take care, all...

p/s : selamat belayar kepada yang berkenaan.. chaiyok!! :P

What Am I Doing...?

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim...

At last, I've completed my Medical posting.. Bestnyaaaaa!!! hihihi.. I've been counting days, hours, minutes and even seconds to finish the 'hell' posting.. Erm.. well, Medical just doesn't suit my soul (chewah!).. hehehe.. but I do enjoy working with the staffs in ward Medical 4, HUKM.. they are superb!! very co-operative staff nurses (usually doctors don't praise the staff nurses but in Med 4, they deserve the praises) and helpful clerk.. The KJ (Ketua Jururawat) is also nice and kind (she belanja me nasi kerabu tau!)..

Actually, takde le teruk sangat this posting.. but I just couldn't stand the 'blaming' session. MOs especially, they will put all the faults and flaws on the HOs.. I've been facing the situations quite few times, and I'm sick of it! But alhamdulillah, I managed to handle it calmly.. At least I've got friends to listen to my mumbling and cries.. (thanks to Bal.. hehehe!) And I know someone is always ready and eager to know my daily updates.. hehehe! Well, I guess I'm losing that someone sooner or later.. I just can feel it..

Okay, enough of it.. Talking about cuti pulak.. at the end of posting, I've got another 8 days of day-off.. Bestnyaaaa lagi skali!!! Huhuhu.. My first cuti-cuti was to JB, attending my Adek's convo.. although takde la buat pape sangat pon, but I do enjoy the moment.. During my convo, it was only me, Abah n Ummi.. so it was dull.. really DULL, I would say.. I hardly remember the day, to tell the truth.. huhuhu.. bad, isn't it? Anyway, few photos on Adek's convo tapi later la masukkan..

Second plan: Kuantan trip... huhuhu! has been planning with asma' and Bal to go to Kuantan.. visiting some of our friends, the final year MBBS whom going for Pro Exam next month.. huhuh.. terkenang kisah lama la.. And not to forget, some of the lecturers.. Nak visit 'anak2 angkat' jugak.. ikan kat tasik.. Mamat tasik ade lagi tak ek?! hehehe...

Third plan: Maybe going to Kelantan with Cik Senah.. Jadi ke tak ek?!

Erm.. I've a dilemma.. And I am surprised with myself.. I am good in lying to myself, because I've been doing that for so many times.. But this time, it's hard.. Probably because part of me is drifting away.. I'm losing part of me.. I don't know how it happened.. But it hurts.. Really hurts..

Case closed.

Hachuum..!! Uhuk Uhuk..

Assalamualaykum...

Hehehehe.. berhabuk sungguh dah blog nih.. Bukan malas, tapi memang tak sempat nak update.. Takpelah, let me recapitulate all the events that happened for the past 2 months..

Well, as usual le.. work has been my never-ending responsibility.. but in a way, I do enjoy the 'busyness' of working since I haven't got any other commitments yet.. Few joyful and heart-breaking scenarios happened.. some I've shared with others, but some I just keep to myself.. Being HANIN FARHANA, people hardly know what is in my mind.. hehehe!

Story 1
Staff nurse : Dokter... Dokter dah kawen?
Me : Haa..? Saye nampak macam dah kawen ke?
SN : Hehehe.. Kalo tengok umur, sepatutnye dah.. Tapi kalo tengok orangnye, tak nampak macam dah.. macam muda jek..
Me : Huhuhuhu.. nampak macam budak2 ke? Belum le kak, saye belum kawen.. (akak nurse tuh sebaya saye, and sedang pregnant anak kedua)..
SN : Ermm... dah ade boyfren? (sambil senyum2 gatal..)
Me : Adoi kak.. saye busy kerja, nak carik bf tak sempat le.. lagipon, takde orang nak ni haa...
SN : Haaa.. kalo macam tuh, saye nak kenalkan sorang kat Dokter, boleh? sebaya dengan Dokter.. kawan kepada husband saye..
Me : Uisyy.. itu le tujuan sebenarnye ek..?!
SN : Hehehe.. boleh la Dokter.. dia orang ******** jugak.. kerja Pegawai **** kat M***I... saye tengok Dokter, saye rase sesuai pulak ngan dia..
Me : Herm.. terpulang le, kak.. nak kawan and kenal dulu boleh la kot.. tapi nak lebih2 tuh kena tanye Yang Di Atas..
SN : Hehehee!! Okay! Malam ni jugak saye tanye dia..! (mata bersinar-sinar nih..!)
Me : (dalam hati...) adeh.. mampus aku camni..

Esoknye.... saye baru je masuk dalam ward, lebih kurang pukul 6.45am..
SN : Dokter!!! Sedihnye saye...
Me : Haa.. kenapa? ade patient expired ke? collapse ke?? (cuak betul!!)
SN : Bukan... mamat tuh dah ade gf le.. baru je sebulan.. Rugi betul..
Me : Laaaa.. itu rupenye.. hehehe (fuhhh...lega...) Takpelah, dah dia berkenan kat orang tuh..
SN : Alaaa.. saye dah berbunga-bunga dah nak tgk Dokter dengan dia.. sesuai betul!
Me : Isk... biarle kak.. dah jodoh dia dgn org tuh.. hehehe.. takde la, yang akak sungguh2 sgt nih, kenapa?
SN : sebab saye dah berkenan dgn Dokter dah.. kalo ade abang ke, adik laki ke, saye kenalkan dengan Dokter tau..
Me : lor.. akak yang berkenan kat saye, suruh orang lain pulak tackle saye..
SN : ye laa.. kalo nak suruh Dokter jadi madu saye, sure Dokter tanak.. saye pn tahu husband saye takkan setuju punye..
Me : (gulp..!) Oh tidaaakkkk... tak mungkin, kak.. hehehe..


Story 2
Specialist : Patient ni boleh discharge.. Hanin, u call the family members ek.. I'd like to discuss with them regarding further plan of their father's punye RRT..
Me : Okay boss..

Patient nih a retiree policeman.. Admit to the ward due to kidney failure secondary to diabetes (end-stage).. neighbour found him in the house, alone.. having difficulty in breathing due to fluid overload, causing his lungs and abdomen filled with fluid and hardly breathing.. uraemic symptoms also present..

Me : Haloo.. Puan *** ye? Puan anak kepada Encik *** ke?
Anak 1 : Ye saye.. siape ni?
Me : Saye Dr. Hanin dari HUKM.. puan tahu kan ayah puan ade kat ward dah seminggu dah.. sekarang ni dah boleh keluar le.. boleh ke puan datang amik ayah petang ni? kalo boleh, datang dalam waktu pejabat le sebab kami nak bincang siket pasal further plan and treatment untuk Pakcik ni..
Anak 1 : Macam ni la Dokter, saye boleh datang tapi bukan saye yg jaga ayah saye.. so kalo saye buat keputusan pon, kena atas persetujuan adik beradik yang lain..
Me : Haa.. takpe.. Saye akan sampaikan pada Puan, dan Puan boleh sampaikan pada adik beradik yang lain.. kalo nak senang lagi, panggil le adik beradik yang akan bertanggungjawab atas pakcik ni.. supaya terang dan jelas dgn ape yang jadi pada pakcik ni..
Anak 1 : Okaylah, dalam pukul 2 ptg ni kami datang le..
Me : Okay, terima kasih..

3 orang anak Pakcik malang ni datang.. first time saye nampak diorang.. selama Pakcik ni terlantar kat hospital, sorang pon tak pernah jenguk..
Dipendekkan cerita, rupe-rupenye pakcik ni ditinggalkan sorang kat rumah flat kat area Cheras nih.. anak-anak ade 7 orang, none of them willing to take care of their father.. since dia pon dah End Stage Renal Failure (ESRF), he needs regular dialysis, 3 times per week for the rest of his life.. (he's 80 yrs old, anyway) at first, family tak setuju untuk dialysis tuh sebab takde sesiapa yang sudi nak menghantar dan mengambil Pakcik ni untuk treatment dialysis (padahal takyah masuk ward, just hantar ke pusat dialysis and 4 jam kemudian, amik le balik).. then we Doctors decide for them to take Pakcik back home first and discuss with other family members regarding the plan..
Shockingly, all 3 of them tanak bawak Pakcik balik.. siap boleh negotiate dgn kami, kalo diorang setuju untuk plan dialysis tuh, Pakcik kena stay dalam ward dulu.. none of them willing to take care of him.. dengan hati yang membengkak, saye tanye kenapa tanak bawak Pakcik balik..??

Anak 1 : saye ade anak perempuan yang dah besar.. so tak manis le kalo ayah saye duduk sekali dgn kami..
Anak 2 : Tak lama lagi pilihanraya, Dokter.. saye akan bertanding bagi bahagian saye.. so memang saye akan busy.. susah le saye nak jaga ayah saye kalo dia duduk dengan kami..
Anak 3 : Saye selalu out-station.. kat rumah saye ade isteri, pon bekerja.. susah le Dokter.. lagipon, kalo ayah saye nih dibawa balik, kami akan hantar dia ke rumah flat tu.. dok sorang2 jugak.. takde orang jaga jugak..

Panas hati saye!! Jeng.. jeng.. jeng..
"Encik2 ingat, hospital nih rumah kebajikan ke?? Kesian Pakcik.. saye yang takde pertalian darah dengan dia lebih kenal, kisah and tahu pasal Pakcik ni daripada anak2 sendiri.."..
Diorang senyap... terdiam.. Nurse yang tgk pon terdiam..
In the end, specialist saye setuju benarkan Pakcik tinggal di hospital untuk 2-3 hari.. Sebab kami risau kalo anak2 dia tinggalkan dia sorang2 kat rumah tu lagi..
Jengkel! Malam tu, saye stress.. Depressed and tension! Pening kepala.. Tertekan sebab peristiwa ni.. Saye harap, perkara yang sama akan jadi pada diorang bile diorang dah tua nanti..
Jahat ke saye sebab berharap macam tu???

p/s : saye takkan undi parti itu.. sebab adanye orang macam ni dalam parti itu... Benci!!

It's A Game Of Life..

I hate it when people keep on blaming other people on their own mistake..
I hate it when I have to take responsibility on other people's fault..
I have done my part and always be careful when it comes to my patient's matter..
And don't blame me if it's ur negligence that cause the patient to suffer..

p/s : This is why I dislike Medical posting.. people are 'acting' in front of their superior as if they have done the best decision, and in the other hand, blaming the less fortunate HO to take the blame on their stupid action.. be responsible la.. it's people's life u are handling with..

New Year Resolutions..

Assalamualaykum..

Wah! It's January 2008.. dah masuk tahun baru rupenye.. and next week pon Tahun Baru Hijrah jugak kan.. Talking about new year, people will start asking about resolutions.. "Ape azam baru tahun ni?" hermmm.. azam saye tahun lepas tak tercapai, so saye nak bring forward ke tahun ni pulak.. tapi tak tahu lah tercapai ke tak..

Kalo Erynn and husband surely happy sebab tahun baru ni dah ade baby girl yang comel, saye pon nak tumpang happy.. Kak Lina surely no more alone sebab baru jek membina masjid last Aidiladha.. saye tak berpeluang nak attend sebab on-call.. Muna surely busy preparing herself to become a mother, since her expected date of delivery is somewhere in July.. hehehe.. tumpang happy jugak sebab surely she looks cute being a mother.. umur 25 tahun..ooppss.. becoming 26 y.o tapi nampak macam skolah menengah je..

Everybody is happy being with someone they love.. that's good for them... hermm..

I'm speechless..

2007 - both sweet memories and broken-hearted stories..

The sweet ones :
- I passed my Pro Exam.. and I'm a doctor..
- Graduation Day.. 5 years been dreaming to be in the convo robe.. and the day finally came.. well, although that day was not so memorable to me.. kinda blur regarding of what has happened that day..
- started working.. well, HUKM is not that bad.. the best day was the moment I found out that my first salary is already bank-in.. WAH!
- went to Pulau Tioman.. I've been waiting so long to go to an island for a day-out.. snorkelling was fun!

The not-so-sweet ones :
- graduation means, no more being naughty students escaping classess and borak-borak with closest friends about love, life and feelings.. I miss u guys, bestfrens.. :-(
- the September tragedy.. hermm.. after all the preparations..
- being left alone.. and frankly, most of the time I felt lonely..
- masuk Medical posting... well, takdelah teruk sgt tapi sebab Chief HO tu unfair in terms of work distributions, so it's kinda not-so-sweet le..

....herm....
mata saye berair..
masuk habuk kot..
hmmm..